Whether I am working with individuals or couples a trusting relationship between client and therapist is of the most importance. It is an honor and privilege for me to be part of your life and sharing your feelings. Much of the therapeutic process involves the client/therapist relationship itself. I am not just a passive listener, I will give you feedback in a direct and honest way. There is no judgment for feeling a certain way.
The goal of therapy is for you to know/accept and be comfortable with who you are, to be able to identify your feelings and to be responsible for your actions. I work within different theoretical models of therapy to help you through this process.
When I work with a couple my client is the relationship between those two people. Again I am an active participant in the therapeutic process. My goal is to help each individual be able to really say what it is they wish to communicate and for the other to really hear them. So often couples get into a cycle of saying the same things in the same way. They both react to each other, either withdraw or attack and the cycle begins again. Through therapy, couples identify maladaptive patterns of behaving and work on creating ways of being together that is a win-win situation for both. The therapeutic process takes time and work on each individual’s part. It will usually involve personalized home work exercises to do outside of office visits.
Think of your relationship as an emotional bank account . You deposit into this account when good things happen between you. You withdraw from this account during stressful times, i.e. fights, work, children, deaths etc. A relationship often reaches crisis when your account is in deficit and another stressful period occurs. There is nothing left to give. Part of couple counseling involves redefining your relationship so that you are comfortable and safe to begin putting deposits back into your relationship. The other part of therapy examines how you both dealt with stresses in the past and suggests ways to better support each other in hard times.
39 North San Mateo Drive, Suite 5, San Mateo, California 94401